Thoughful Sparks on Life

Devouring Words

2011-12-03T12:08:00.001-05:00

I spent my morning in bed and could not have been happier. Reading people! Clean minds everyone, clean minds. Reading? Maybe not quite strong enough wording. Devouring words; that's better. It's been a while since I've found a book that takes me away, completely cocoons me in its story. It's rare these days for me to find a good book that holds my attention. So, when I find one that I can't get enough of I am overjoyed. I've needed that reconnection, that re-balancing of life a good book can bring.

I'll admit, it's a little embarrassing that my current love of words comes from a teen fiction novel, but it's just so good! A little romance and little laughter and little thriller/drama and a little lose myself in the story. It's OK; I'm allowed to read it even though I'm an adult.

My adventures began about two weeks ago when I happened upon the first in the trilogy at a used bookstore. I am always looking on those discount carts at used bookstores never knowing what I'll find. The covers and titles are the things that usually catch my attention because it's rare an author's name will. For $1 I find a striking black cover with a purple tinged pillow and with a graphically striking title. I had no idea that it was a Young Adult novel until I brought it home.

All I was looking for was a "bedside reader"; something light that wouldn't drag me down, that wasn't something I had to read and that I could meander through a few pages or a chapter at a time before bed. It totally started that way until last Wednesday night when I went to bed way too early and was wide awake at 2:30am. I was about a quarter into the book by that time and figured a few pages might help me to relax enough to slip back into dreamland. I was wrong. Unannounced to me, I had just arrived at a part in the book that, within a page or two, had me hooked! I powered through all but 10 pages of the book before looking at the clock to see a blurry 4am staring back at me. Reluctantly, I put the book down and fell back to sleep for the few hours I had before my alarm went off for work.

10 pages. that was all this delicious book had left to give me. It gave me all 10 pages the next night.

At the end of the book is where I found out it was the first of three. Delight! They were even nice enough (teasing bastards) to preview a few pages of the next book in the trilogy. If I wasn't completely hooked before, now there was no turning back.

Used bookstore, library then full priced purchase. That was my mantra as I left work on Friday. Used bookstore, library then full priced purchase.

Used bookstore came up empty. No system to keep track of what's on their shelves made it more challenging. After coming up empty on the warm inside shelves, I dipped back outside to the street carts and flipped through tons of titles until my fingers were frozen numb. Desperate? Yup.

Used bookstore, library then full priced purchase. As mantras go it was a good one, until I set foot into Full Priced Book Kingdom and computer searched their stock for my title. *bing* One book left in stock of the second in the trilogy. Curious. *bing* One book left in stock of the third in the trilogy.

"Excuse me? Where is the Teen section?" The words escaped before I could stop them. "Upstairs and turn left, on the far side." Coordinates locked in.

You're only going to buy one. You're only going to buy one. Another good mantra that lasted about as long as it took to catch a glimpse - of both - on the shelf. "I'll take this one AND this one." I said aloud to no one in particular. Crazy? Probably.

Let's not talk about the Full Priced Book Kingdom price, shall we? My reasoning for the purchase, it cost only $1 for the first book. Hey, it's a good reason! How about current joy and pleasure of words? Another good reason.

Arriving home Friday night, even with the late hour, I sure gave it the ol' college try and got a few pages in before my eye got blurry and the book fell out of hands. Sleep, which brings us to this morning.

Sleeping in is delicious in itself, but knowing that when you finally wake up there is a book waiting to be devoured just makes it even better. A couple hours of reading started my Saturday off perfectly and has hopefully put me in a good frame of mind for the rest of the day. Yes, I would rather stay in and continue following the girl, now working undercover for the local police - along with her secret boyfriend who was part of an undercover drug bust in the first book, as she is pulled into people's dreams to find out if there is a sexual predator posing as one of her high school teachers and to find out if this girl is actually going to become blind like the old woman from the nursing home that died in the first book, but now visits the girl in her dreams to help her learn to be a better dream catcher.

You're hooked too, aren't you?

Taking More Risks -- Take A Class!

2011-09-20T22:45:00.005-04:00

In my continuing effort to check something else off my list and take more risks in 2011, I have signed up for an 11-week Tai Chi course.

Starting tomorrow evening, I will be Tai Chi'ing it Yang style once a week for 11 weeks.

I signed up for this class because I wanted something that could help decrease the increasing stress I am feeling at my day job, which would in turn, hopefully, help improve my health (IE: weight loss, strengthen, self-preservation, etc.). Although, in the past two weeks I think kickboxing might have been a better choice. "I wanna beat the shit outta something!!"

I am not too sure what to expect, but I know people who swear by Tai Chi and both my parents have gone through many levels of Yang style and enjoyed it. I just keep picturing those groups of people who, early Sunday mornings at Christie Pits Park, gather to Tai Chi together in what seems like rhythmic and spiritually centered flocks. Just that image relaxes me...maybe Tai Chi is what I need.

Now where are those track pants...

Winnipeg Vacation Round Up

2011-05-11T22:36:00.003-04:00

Due to my lack of posting early in my vacation, I now present a brief, and probably not as detailed, "Vacation Round Up" post of what happened for the remainder of my vacation in Winnipeg.

Wed May 4/11
A visit to Whitehorse Gift Emporium and Tea Room. They boast 10,000 unique items in the store (ranging from items you could find in a dollar store, beautiful wooden furniture, Christmas items, food products, beauty products, gag gifts, jewelery and more) and 30 different kinds of loose leaf to choose from in the Tea Room. This was the day where my cold was kicking my ass and during my wander around the "10,000 unique items" I had a dizzy spell and almost fell into some China. That probably would have cost a lot more than the $4 I spent on craft items.

After a relaxing lunch at the Tea Room (and a longing gaze at the good looking gardeners) our next stop was The Forks.

For those that have visited St Lawrence Market in Toronto, The Forks is similar, but less food market, more upscale and more tourist trap. There are many shops catering to many wants and there is a large outdoor area, with entertainment pavilions and such. However, on this day we didn't see too much of the outside except when running from one building to the next trying to stay dry.

Thurs May 5/11
This was a big day for us. No daycare for the girls and instead we took them to the Assiniboine Park Zoo ($5 for adults...hello, awesome!), then a brief romp at Assiniboine Park and across the big bridge to get some ice cream cones at Sargent Sundaes. This was also the day I received my first sunburn of the season. (Mature responsible Sara didn't even think that a week that started with snow could turn into a week that fries skin.) And what a sun burn it was...Aloe-Vera-slathering-Ibuprofen-popping joy. Ouchies! However, after all that and a quick dinner at home, Angela and I still had the energy for $3 movies at the theatre. Yay, movie popcorn!

Fri May 6/11
With the girls back at daycare, Angela and I visited The Winnipeg Mint - a branch of the Royal Canadian Mint. We had booked spots on the tour, but arrived late ("How did I think the Tax Centre was The Mint...?"), which actually worked out well because we were able to do a self-guided tour and NOT pay the $5.

Incoming joke:
Woman: So, you work at The Mint?
Man: Yup.
Woman: What do you do there?
Man: I make money.

After a quick McLunch we treated ourselves to the oh-so-good, but oh-so-expensive Marble Slab Creamery ice cream. If you're wondering, yes, it's the same idea as Cold Stone Creamery. Marble Slab vs. Cold Stone.

After dinner that night, we enjoyed a fire in the backyard and I got to roast marshmallows for the girls...OK, and for me too. Once the kids were in bed, the grownups feasted on nachos and watched a movie before passing out themselves.

Sat May 7/11
Today I did not rise from slumber until 10am. Even though I was yet again awaken by the loving chirps of young balls of energy before 7am, I decided, with my cold and wicked sunburn, to sleep as much as I could -- 10am was the best I could do. No matter though because today was a relaxing day of PJ's and doing nothing, except packing, before heading back to Toronto.

Side note about my flight back: Our attempt to depart early was foiled by an over emotional woman at the front of the plane who, I thought was laughing at first, cried hysterically promising to calm down because she "need[ed] to get back home to [her] husband." Reason for hysterics? Unknown. I looked down to get a magazine, looked up and she was gone -- along with the security officer. Ah, the entertaining joys of travel.

Also, one travel tip: If you have a cold, particularly in the sinus region, don't fly. Descent and landing are a bitch.

Well, that was my vacation; first one in many years. Here's hoping there aren't that many years between now and my next vacation...or my next trip to Winnipeg!

The Soup Kitchen

2011-05-03T21:46:00.011-04:00

Today was another relaxing day and the last day before my friend, Angela, gets three days off work. Quality friend time!!

I made a large pot of homemade veggie soup in the morning and both Angela and her husband, Dennis, came home from work to enjoy lunch with me. There was enough soup left so that the girls had some for dinner with the sitter and I put some in the freezer for everyone to enjoy later.

The afternoon consisted of some web surfing and a delicious nap before prepping for a dinner out. We decided on sushi and had a pleasant meal at Tokyo Sushi located conveniently close to the house. For dessert, although so not needed, we headed to Bellbottoms, the restaurant at the Holiday Inn. Angela and Dennis recommended it from past visits. Brownie. Ice cream. Cookie. Whip cream. Many calories. So yum.

This required a walk. After getting home, sending the sitter on her way and putting the girls to bed, Angela joined me and Jake, aka the snoring dog, for a walk around the block and to the park.

This brings us to now: sitting on the couch, watching "Sixteen Candles" on Netflix, and dealing with my runny nose. Yup; hoping for allergies and not a cold, but the sore throat is leaning me towards a cold. We'll see.

Plans for tomorrow: lunch at Whitehorse Tea Room (30 different loose leaf teas) which also happens to have the largest gift emporium on the planet. Well, maybe not the planet, but 10,000 items...

Epic energy in the form of two little girls

2011-05-02T09:49:00.003-04:00

Here I sit, at the dining room table, basking in the glow of warm morning sunlight. It's just before 10am. It's silent.

Why would I mention silence? Due to the fact it's a change, a BIG change, from yesterday. Lily (4) and Ruby (3), my friend's two little girls, who are the cutest and sweetest little girls, are also the most epic balls of energy EVER!

Although I went to bed well after 1am on the night of my arrival (April 30/11), I was up before 8am. Why? Two very active little girls. My first duty as guest in the house was an 8am colouring session that lasted at least two hours for all of us and pretty much the entire morning for the girls. I have a stack of about 20 colouring book pages, gifted to me by the two little cuties, to prove it.

They never stop. The running. The jumping. The talking. The colouring. The playing. It's fantastical. I am in awe of their unstoppable energy level. If we could harness the energy of these two we could totally power a small country. I was awake this morning (Mon May 2/11) at 6:30am, but forced myself to sleep a little more. My alarm clock NEVER works this well...

This morning the girls are back in daycare and the house is silent, except for the ticking clock and the snoring dog. My friend Angela has to work today and tomorrow so I need to find stuff to keep me busy. I am glad the warm sun is melting away the snow that fell, but am pretty sure today will be an relaxing inside kinda day.

Yesterday I picked up some brushes, acrylic paint and little canvases at the local Dollarama and have already sketched out two images which I shall start painting after breakfast.

YYZ to YWG (April30/11)

2011-05-01T14:28:00.001-04:00

I’ve done it. I got on a plane and flew away from the city and the province. I am in Winnipeg.

I took TTC (Toronto public transit) to get to the airport, but it wasn’t until I saw a banking plane that had just taken off that it really hit me. I mean sure, I had a suitcase with me and every other person on the 192 Airport Rocket Express also had suitcases or bags. However, it wasn’t until seeing that plane in the air that the realization of what I was about to do hit me. I was excited!

For all the research and reading I did to pack for my trip it was sure over quick. I breezed through self-check in, baggage check in and security all in less than 10 minutes. So me and my carefully prepared Ziplock bag were now safely on the other side…with two and a half hours before boarding. Yup, early…real early. Yet, this gave me time to chill and let it all just soak in.

My first stop was to wander by the expansive windows in the waiting area around my departure gate. For someone who doesn’t travel by plane that much this was glorious. I really need to travel more.

After speaking with my parents, grabbing some dinner and just people watching I still had over an hour. What to do…hello free Wi-Fi. Yet, checking email and Facebook seemed a little less awesome while sitting in an airport. I did some research in the “what to do” section of one of the City of Winnipeg tourist websites to get some ideas for my stay. Finally, after wandering, sitting and more wandering, we were called to board.

OMG, I’m on a plane! This thought crossed my mind many times during my flight. The first time was when I was walking the gang plank to the entrance of the plane. I was able to take a brief gander into the cockpit while waiting for others to take their seats. So cool! I am a geek; deal. Our flight was full, as were many of the flights taking off that night. There was enough space to make us all buddy-buddy for our just over two hour flight. The personal TVs at each seat helped too. Thank you to City TV for playing Twilight, you made the flight seem very quick.

The last time I flew to Winnipeg was the last time I flew period. That was in 2003. At that time I flew with the now cancelled airline, JetsGo. At that time I required the belt extender to be able to fasten the belt safely. I am very proud to say that this time around, eight years later, I conquered the airplane seat belt like a champ, sans extender. I amaze even myself sometimes. Go Team Me!

Take-off and landing were such a rush; just the amazing fact that this large piece of metal with all these people is able to get up into the sky and stay there while moving at hundreds of miles an hour…awesome. Our pilot must have sped a little too as we landed a good 10 minutes early.

Flight Risk -- Vacation!

2011-04-30T02:14:00.003-04:00

In less than 24 hours I'll be striking another risk off my 2011 Take More Risks Bucket List! Although Winnipeg isn't considered a risky vacation to go on, the last minute booking and lack of planning is what I consider a risk in this case. Strap yourself in cause we're flying by the seat of our pants!

Popping My Cherry-Oke

2011-04-01T02:35:00.002-04:00

On the night of March 31, 2011, I sang karaoke for the first time ever. I am no longer a virgin of this crazy world of singing another's song in a room with drunken strangers. And thus, I am awesome.

Never before have I experienced such an overwhelmingly positive response to the phrase: "Excuse me, virgin coming through." Yet, I used this line tonight as I made my way to the mic.

There is nothing more that can impress a gal, other than applause and flowers, than having a stranger tap you on the back to let you know you are awesome. Or to have a random person say, "Hey it's the girl with the voice!" as you pass by them. What a rush; an epic injection of confidence. Possibly not as true in the sobering light of day, but I shall take awesome - thank you!

Karaoke, I might just see you again my friend.

And with that, I officially check another item on my 2011 Take More Risks Bucket List.

Short and Sweet...and Nuts

2011-03-29T23:25:00.000-04:00

Brief update on my 2011 Bucket List Year:

Completed my Unsweetened February Challenge and by 8:50am the next day had already had my first piece of chocolate. I guess the reprogramming of my brain failed. Oh well, that first piece of chocolate after a month was the best chocolate ever!

Another bucket list item, being on stage in a live theatrical production, is coming to a close. "Nuts", at The Village Playhouse, has been running since March 11 and will end its run on April 2. It's been a epic adventure and I might just undertake another role in the future; especially if it means applause and flowers! And, of course, a sense of accomplishment.

If two bucket list items ain't enough for the first 3 months of 2011, let's check off one more: Karaoke. On Thursday (March 31) some of us "Nuts" plan to head downtown after the show to partake in some karaoke fun. We'll see if I have the balls to get up there and belt out a tune or two. It can't be any worse than being on stage for the first time, right? Right?! *faint*

Unsweetened Challenge - 8 Days To Go

2011-02-20T20:54:00.003-05:00

Well, I've lasted almost a whole month of my Unsweetened 30 Day Challenge and only have 8 more days before the month is up.

My only failings thus far:
1) Ketchup - used twice.
2) Whiskey Sours & Lychee Martinis - used more than twice.

This food challenge didn't go quite as I had planned. I probably ate just as much sugar as I normally would have, but my sugar intake came from "naturally occurring sugars" instead of the processed kind.

Things I've learned thus far:
1) Maltitol, in excess, will kick your ass - literally.
2) Just because you've decreased your sugar intake does mean you should increase your fat intake. (Possible upcoming Food Challenge: No Junk In My Trunk.)
3) Cravings will never dissipate, no matter how much you will them to.
4) Distraction and keeping busy are the answer because idle hands and mind will always get you into trouble.
5) I can survive without all that extra sugar. Others; however, may experience impending doom from my "lack of sweets" bitchiness.
6) Unsweetened Soy Milk is not as bad I as I thought.

I am already planning future food challenges for 2011. This one has kept me on my toes and made me that much more aware of what I put in my mouth.

Public Displays of Animosity

2011-02-20T20:21:00.004-05:00

Any conversation that involves the words/phrases: "You're not being fucking fair!" or "You're an asshole." should not be had on a cell phone on a very busy street corner. No matter how pretty you are, it's just not something that should happen. Private conversation as just that -- private -- and no one really wants to hear that sort of language on a lovely Sunday afternoon.

Along the same lines, no matter how drunk and belligerent you are continually holding up your middle finger at someone and then spitting on the floor in front of that person and cursing them just before getting off the bus it not a "human" thing to do. Oh, you're not human? Well then, my bad.

I rode the bus this evening, sitting beside the drunk and in front of the Portuguese/Spanish/Italian gentleman on his cell phone who was the mysterious source of the drunk's aggravation. I've seen this spitting/cursing action done before on film or TV, but never in real life and up close; it was surreal. The only words I could understand from the Portuguese/Spanish/Italian gentleman were "behave" and "policia" so I assume he meant business. Just before the drunk got off the bus I overheard, "That was not nice." What I can't tell (because I would not dare look in his direction) was if it came from his potentially drunken friend or if the bus driver was attempting to respond to the situation in some way.

The two things that passed through my mind during the mild altercation were: 1) "I bite my thumb at you!" and 2) How can you take the reaction/shock you just had and use it in your on-stage performance?

Yes, I might need therapy.

Ah, life in the city, and on public transit, is always entertaining!

A Happy Heart Day Half Way Point

2011-02-14T20:31:00.004-05:00

Today marks the half way point between the beginning of this food challenge and the end of the month. Today also marks one of the toughest days of the challenge thus far.

It's a Monday. (evil)
It's Valentine's Day. (single)
It was a challenge. (Go Team Sara!)

I resisted the urge to tear into the gifted Hershey's Chocolate Kisses, which now sit all wrapped up snug at the back of my freezer. I didn't allow my epic grumpiness and my tired, frustrated Monday self to ruin this challenge for me.

I did, however, purchase Chapman's No Sugar Added Ice Cream and thoroughly enjoyed it. Enjoyed it more so than I have ever enjoyed any ice cream before. It truly was a treat...and there's still more left for my next almost mental breakdown.

I am looking forward to the next three days: back to being Nuts on Tues and Thurs and adventures in The Secret Garden on Wed. Now there's one challenge I would most definitely fail: cold turkey on all things theatre. Thank goodness theatre is good for the soul.

My heart is happy and I hope yours is too!

Sweets & Treats

2011-02-13T22:53:00.005-05:00

Another "unsweetened" week down and so far so good -- among many challenges. In the past week I've baked twice for a theatre fundraiser, I've stood in a favourite bakery of mine waiting for my soup-and-sandwich dinner, I have resisted the urge to dive into sugary gifts, I turned down Green Tea Ice Cream and I operated lights in a small booth that contained a very enticing container of jujubes.

My only "fail" this week (and since the beginning of this experiment/challenge) was the three whiskey sours I had. Oops! It's another one of those things you forget about, that are an automatic part of a bar trip for some, and contain sugar -- mixed drinks.

I have somehow convinced myself that since I have decreased my consumption of the extra "candy/chocolate/Starbucks coffees" processed sugars that I can increase my consumption of carbs (bread, pasta, etc.) -- something I had under control prior to this month. I believe this to be the reason I am not feeling or seeing results as expected. (Read: No significant dip in scale numbers and still feel bloated at times. Hello! Carbs!) So, to that end, I vow to seriously decrease my consumption of carbs from now until the end of the month. I want to be able to see and feel some sort of a difference from this challenge, gosh darn-it! To assist in the "weening" process, I did purchase a gluten-free, no sugar tea biscuit dry mix from the health food store that I am going to try out.

Another thing I've noticed is my increase in regular black tea with Splenda. I hardly ever used Splenda, or drank black tea prior to this Unsweetened February. I am not as concerned with this, although, too much artificial sweetener is not a good thing. (Read: Sara really needs to cut down/out diet cola.)

After talking with a friend today, I am going to look more into Stevia. It's always been on my radar, but I've never tried it.

This challenge is not only a physical one, but a mental one too. I am educating myself on better ways of living and better health practices surrounding my food intake. I do hope I get something meaningful and useful out of this challenge.

Adventures in Snacking

2011-02-06T18:06:00.009-05:00

Today marks Day 6 of my Unsweetened February food challenge, a risk which is part of my 2011 Take More Risks Bucket List.

My goal today, was to source out different kinds of snacks that would provide that sugary kick I wanted without all the sugar I didn't need. Up until now grapes, bananas, raisins and no sugar added cookies, along with diet cola, had been my snacking tools. I want to increase those choices and give myself more variety.

Cereal and Soy Milk:
Even before this self-imposed challenge, I had always purchased lower sugar and high fibre cereals. This is one area I am not being to hard on myself about. Although the cereals currently in my cupboard (Life Multigrains, Kashi Go Lean, Shreddies) do have sugar in the list of ingredients, the amount of it is low and the fibre content balances it all out...somewhat. Technicalities. My soy milk selection however needed a review. Just prior to February 1st I had purchase chocolate soy milk. As of today, that is now gone (having been consumed) and for the rest of the month I will be consuming unsweetened soy milk. We'll see how this goes. *shutter*

Nature's Candy:
Increasing the intake of fruits (proportionally, within reason) and veggies is all part of the reprogramming process. That's a given. Today was about finding fun stuff that I can keep in my desk at work or in my bag as snacks. I have hidden away my granola bars at least until the end of the month, so I needed some other non-sugar/natural sugar snacks.

Shoppers Drug Mart's Life Brand products, and most recently Simply Food line of products, provided me with some great variety. I already have Life Brand dried apricots in my desk at work. The apricots were the only bags dried fruit at Shoppers that did not have added sugar. For shame Shoppers. I like cranberries too you know! I also invested in those cute little boxes of raisins that most of us got for Halloween as kids. I know I could have just purchased raisins in bulk, but it's the presentation that makes it. A cute little box of raisins is more pleasing to the eye than a Ziploc bag of them. I also scored some dried prunes (no sugar added -- yay Shoppers), no sugar added fruit juice drinking boxes, no sugar added chewy fruit snacks and more cute little boxes of raisins.

Health Food Store:
More expensive, yes, but more variety...even with no sugar chocolate! "Fruit to Go" fruit leather, unsweetened granola and yes, chocolate. I purchased the chocolate as an I-can't-take-it-anymore last resort because, from what I have read and past experience of candy and chocolate made with Maltitol, it can cause...loose poop. Like I said, last resort.

Let the adventures in snacking begin!

The Unsweetened February - Day 6

2011-02-06T17:26:00.003-05:00

Six days so far. Some have been easier than others. Thursday and Friday were pretty smooth as I kept myself busier at work, which took my mind from thinking about it to thinking about something else.

This was the first weekend of my Unsweetened Challenge. It was tough, just as I thought it would be. The sweetness of fruit helped, but my saving grace was black tea with Splenda. I drank three large mugs of it on Saturday...and then peed like a race horse. Although during this challenge I have allowed myself diet soda, at the same time, I don't want to rely on that for my "sugar" fix. Adventures into different kinds of tea and making my own homemade iced tea will help.

It occurred to me on Day 2 that the Raspberry Sauce I had just consumed with my chicken had more than its fair share of sugar. No more Raspberry Sauce. Similarly, on Day 5 after plating my hot and delicious looking grilled cheese, it hit me that the Ketchup I had just retrieved from the fridge had an epic amount of sugar. No Ketchup on the grilled cheese; hot sauce instead. Not as good without the Ketchup, but doable.

After Day 5's sugary sauce revelation, I have decided to "up my game" in this challenge. Throughout the remainder of this month I will increase the challenge by adding more "sugar" items to the list of no-nos. One of the biggest will be white flour and negative carbs in general. If I can get to February 28th (sanity in tact) with a serious reduction of negative carbs maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to retrain my brain to accept this as the norm.

The Unsweetened 30 Day Challenge

2011-02-01T22:11:00.003-05:00

I am now well into rehearsals for my role as The Recorder for the production of "Nuts" at The Village Playhouse. This will take care of one of the risks on my current 2011 bucket list.

So now what? Well, let's scratch another risk off the list. Today, February 1st, marked Day One of my first 30 Day Challenge. I know, I know, February only has 28 days. Technicalities. My first 30 Day Challenge is a food challenge...or lack of a certain food - sugar.

For the next month I am going to decrease considerably the amount of sugar I intake on a daily basis. No candy or chocolate, no hot chocolate or special Starbucks coffees, no baked goods. I am allowing myself diet sodas, Crystal Light type drinks and Splenda for sweetening any regular coffee or tea that needs it, but NO SUGAR! Naturally occurring sugar, yes. Any other kind of sugar, no.

Now, you're probably saying, "Sara, this doesn't seem like a risk." To that I say, "Oh yes it is, for me." In only my first day, I had to stop myself no less than 4 times from going for that sugar item that I didn't think twice about before. If I can do this for a whole month think about the health benefits and maybe even the good habits I will be introducing to my life.

"But still Sara, where's the risk in it all?" Well maybe put aside the word "risk" and let's use "temptation".

February is a chocolate month due to Valentine's Day. Also, this month I am involved in a fundraiser called "Sweets & Treats". People will come to see staged productions and then enjoy fresh baked desserts with their coffee and tea. I am one of the volunteered bakers. I volunteered before coming up with this challenge. I think I might be crazy.

I am not doing this for anyone else but me so if I sneak a sugar item I am not failing anyone else but myself. We'll see how long I can fight against temptation. GO TEAM ME!

Taking More Risks in 2011

2011-02-01T21:43:00.003-05:00

I don't do the New Years Resolution thing anymore. What do I do? I follow a motto for the year. Yup, that's right, a motto. Last year's motto was: Do More Stuff. Pretty generalized motto, but it worked...I had an epic and busy 2010!

This year's motto is: Take More Risks.

What I've decided to do is create a list; a "2011 Take More Risks Bucket List" to be exact. This list will be on going, growing in "risks" as I think of them (or as they are recommended to me). No risk will be removed from the list, but not all risks may be completed -- they are simply a guideline or supply from which to dip.

The list thus far is:
- Perform karaoke.
- Take part in a live theatre production...ON STAGE.
- Travel, away from the city/province/country, at least once, maybe twice.
- Join a club.
- Take a class.
- Say "yes" more often than "no".
- Do at least 2 "30 Day" challenges.
- Get a tattoo.

Other than the tattoo these all might seem like "safe" risks, but I think I can shake things up. It's still early in the year. Plus, the list is ever growing...

Experiencing Fringe - July 11, 2010

2010-07-12T23:36:00.003-04:00

Today was the last day of Fringe [sad tear], but I got to immerse myself in extreme amounts of theatre! [happy dance]

Today I had planned in my schedule to see a 2:00pm performance of The Flying Avro Arrow Musical Comedy, but realized that when I woke up a noon, had not done any laundry this weekend and had rehearsal at 5pm...that it just wasn't going to happen. That one last un-punched circle on my 5 Play Pass will be eye-balling me now.

I previously saw a reading of The Flying Avro Arrow Musical Comedy at Alumnae Theatre (Toronto) and found it both entertaining and educational. Just like Tightrope, I was sad to have missed out on a chance to be entertained all over again.

Seven days of Fringing.
Ten plays of varying style and story.
One amazing time.

I am already looking forward to Fringe 2011!!

Experiencing Fringe - July 10, 2010

2010-07-10T16:23:00.014-04:00

Today was a big day; I lined up three shows to see:
> 12:30pm performance of 1/4 Life Crisis at Annex Theatre
> 7:30pm performance of Joe White & the Seven Divorcees at Bathurst Street Theatre
> 11:30pm performance of Craplicker at Tarragon Theatre Mainspace

1/4 Life Crisis
by Alison Lynne Ward

From the Fringe Program:
A funny, dynamic one person show taking the audience on an energetic journey of a young professional as she works to establish her career, hold onto her dreams, drown out the voices of parents, peers and friends, to eventually discover the importance of claiming yourself and being true to who you are.

This one woman show was like stand-up comedy/an informative lecture/a one-sided chat with your best girlfriend as you listen to her rant, rave and whine about her life. I laughed, as there were some great lines, but didn't find myself laughing as much as I thought I would. It was missing some of the funny/the poignant/the...I am not sure what. I was, however, slightly distracted by how in shape this chick was - she had great legs!

One of my favourite parts was when she compared three of her previous boyfriends to the Back To The Future trilogy. The first "movie" was great, classic and something that you'll always think of fondly. The second "movie" was just wrong...all wrong...ooh so wrong. And the third was pretty great; maybe even better than the first. So, just to double check, you go back and "watch" the first "movie" again...well actually you "watch" it a few times. Then, just to be sure the second one was really that bad you "watch" it again - and YES, it was a BIG mistake. Oh the shame! This logically leads you into the third "movie" again. And why didn't the third "movie" call me back? See, funny right?

Much of what was said during the performance hit home with me - these are things I've asked myself, I've told myself and I've wondered about myself and my future.

[SCREECHING HALT]

Change of plans as per above. Joe White was sold out. Yes, I should have left the apartment earlier. No, I didn't really make the connection of it's popularity and possible sold-out-ness with the fact that it had been picked as one of the "Best of" shows for 2010. Yes, duh.

Not a problem. I LOVE flying by the seat of my pants! Not wanting to go all the way back to the apartment and really not in the mood to find something non-Fringe to do to fill my time until my 11:30pm show, I required alternate Fringe show plans. At almost 7:30pm I moved briskly, cause I am just not a runner really, into the Main Box Office area to check out all the posters from other shows. One catches my eye and says, "Yo! I am awesome. I am playing right here in this building (The Solo Room) and I am starting at 8pm." Again, I moved briskly back outside to The Solo Room box office tent and purchased one shiny golden ticket. No, not really golden, more of a corn yellow colour. Details, details.

Psycho Bitch
by Tamara Lynn Robert

From the Fringe Program:
Tamara is a mood disordered, medicated sweetheart of a mess and she needs help. On her journey towards healing she battles a legion of demons, wacky therapists armed with ridiculous treatments and one shapeshifting, grotesque monster called Stigma. Her guardian angel is her ever present comfort as she tells her comedic, heartwarming tale of living with mental illness.

A very satisfying one woman show about mental illness. The first and, so far, the only play at the Fringe to make me cry sad tears. Well done!

I came to see Joe White, but it was sold out. I think it was fate for me to see Psycho Bitch. Well, fate or leaving later than I should have, but who's keeping track?

This show takes you on a journey of the life of Tamara: her illness, her attempts at diagnosis, her psychosis, her therapy, her medications, her highs, her lows and REAL lows. We also learn about her late friend, Aaron and her ever present guardian angel, Geraldine and how the two are so closely connected. Yet, even with all this serious talk she still managed to make us laugh...and by the end, cry. I heard sniffles and saw tissues dabbing at faces in the audience.

The "Psycho Bitch" done good. I do recommend this show, however, if you want to see it you'll have to travel to Winnipeg, MB or Victoria, BC for their Fringe Festivals as tonight's performance was her final for Toronto's Fringe.

With some time to kill before Craplicker at 11:30pm, I wander over to the Fringe Club just so I could say I came and I saw. I didn't stay. Not really a lone drinker. I am told that's a good thing. So instead of desolate drinking, I had sushi solo. Once I'd had my fill I made my way over to Bathurst Station to catch the #7 bus North to Tarragon only to find a mass amount of people waiting for the same bus. After waiting about 10 minutes and unsure if a bus would ever come to collect us, I started walking. Nice night and I needed to work off that sushi. It wasn't until I reached Dupont that the first #7 bus was spotted coming South. Glad I walked!

Craplicker
by Steven Gallagher

From the Fringe Program:
Josh is gay. Josh is closeted. Josh is pushing 30. With humour and candor, Craplicker portrays the joyous friendship between a group of five gay men. When an unexpected illness forces Josh to make a decision to finally "come out", his fearless friends gleefully coax and pester him into becoming the man he is meant to be.

Heartwarming, hilarious and HAWT! Yup, that's all I got. Well, that and that fact that I have come to the realization that I need to acquire more gay friends if for no other reason than the hot eye-candy. Is that so wrong?

One of the bonuses of the show was actor, David Gale (from the TV show Loving Spoonfuls), playing one of the characters. This marks a sort of full circle with me and Fringe. Why? Well in 2002 I saw my first Fringe show, Sugar, and due to my tardiness there was only one seat left in the house - front row, right beside David Gale. Yup, full circle indeed.

This was definitely a good day, but gosh darn-it I gots to remember to apply the sunscreen. Oh ouch! Aloe Vera, STAT!

Experiencing Fringe - July 9, 2010

2010-07-10T00:09:00.007-04:00

With work during the day, Present Laughter rehearsals on Tues and Thurs and a "fun" visit to the dentist on Wed, I've had three days of withdraw from Fringing. It was nice to get back into it tonight with a 9:30pm performance of ONEymoon at 918 Bathurst Culture, Arts, Media & Education Centre.

ONEymoon (A Honeymoon For One)
by Christel Bartelse & Jimmy Hogg

From the Fringe Program:
From the creator of the hit show CHAOTICA, a new comedy about a woman who marries herself.

If you marry yourself then sleep with someone else, should you feel cheated or was it like a threesome?

Seventh new show and seventh new space...quite a fitting one too as the interior looked like a church with a high peaked ceiling and an alter-like stage. A woman in line mentioned to me that it used to be a Buddhist temple, so it all kinda made sense.

This one woman show started out just like a wedding. We, the wedding guests, were asked to stand and watch in awe as the beautiful bride walked down the aisle to her waiting groom...wait...there's no groom! She married herself and even took a honeymoon!

This show had it all: a wedding, a tropical honeymoon, rapping in a wedding dress, drunken karaoke, fluent Dutch, a purple dildo named Eric (if I remember correctly) tap dancing, audience participation and even lap dances. No the audience participation and lap dances did not go together. A few audience members did participate in simple answer and question periods as well as pretending to be father-of-the-bride, step-father-of-the-bride and ex-boyfriend-of-the-bride; wedding speeches and all!

Christel Bartelse, who sort of reminded me of a cross between my theatre friend Elisha "Red" West and Molly Shannon, was a non-stop ball of energy and laugh-inducing entertainment. Some parts lagged or were over-done, but those were so few and far between. When you weren't laugh (or snorting as one audience member did oh so well) you were wiping away the laugh-induced tears.

My seventh show of Fringe 2010 and my seventh recommendation. Me thinks we are on a roll people!

P.S. If you haven't seen it, try and get your hands on a copy of the made-for-TV-movie I Me Wed which has a similar story line to ONEymoon.

Experiencing Fringe - July 5, 2010

2010-07-07T00:20:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately, due to the power outage that occured just before 5pm on this day, at the time I checked in with the Fringe Box Office (approx 6pm), two theatres were down, without power. Of course, due to Murphy and his stupid Law, one of those theatres had to be Passe Muraille Mainspace where I was planning to catch an 8:30pm performance of Tightrope. I was encouraged to still go down to the theatre as there was a chance the cast might do the show outside. In my head I thought, who in their right mind would perform outside in (feels like) 44 degree weather.

I have already seen Tightrope presented at Alumnae Theatre (Toronto) earlier this year and really enjoyed the story, but also really enjoyed the lead actress who plays the daughter. If you get a chance to see Tightrope, take it - don't hesitate!

With the power still out in the West end, where I reside, I needed to find a place to cool off and get some dinner. Fortunately, on my way to do this I bumped into a theatre friend, Steve, and he became my chillaxing buddy.

In honour of doing/seeing new stuff, we tried "Hey Lucy" on Bloor West at Howland. They had air conditioning and cold beverages. They won us over. Service was good. Food was a bit like pub food trying to be snotty/high class. It worked in some ways, but not others. The best thing about the place (besides the a/c) was the decor. Mixture of wood and brick and other materials fused together into an enjoyable place to dine. If you find yourself in the area, stop in for a bite!

Experiencing Fringe - July 4, 2010

2010-07-06T22:47:00.011-04:00

Another day of Fringing and two more new spaces. If y'all are keeping track that's six shows and...six new spaces.

Today's selection included a 1:00pm performance of Eternal Friendship With A Spotless Smile @ Theatre Passe Muraille Backspace and a 3:30pm performance of Metro at the Bathurst Street Theatre.

Eternal Friendship With A Spotless Smile
by Matt McCready

From the Fringe Program:
Jessie and Matt are two best friends that share a great room together in an insane asylum. Their last nurse died under suspicious circumstances, but that's ok. They have a new nurse and, best of all, they're both in love with her! An existential romp! A machiavellian rom-com!

An excellent little space - small black box with steep carpeted bench seating and the stage way down at the bottom. I have to say this space made me very happy. Plus, for such a hot day, as it was on Sunday, this small windowless non-air conditioned space was surprisingly and thankfully cool!

Only three talented actors playing a total of 8 roles combined. Due to the excellent acting and the great script, and being tossed around from one story or scene to the next, I actually felt like I was going slightly insane just watching. Fabulous!!

The Jesse character had some of the best stories and some great dialogue. One of the Matt character's lines that stuck with me was (along the lines of): "Your mind is like a coffin buried just long enough to let the decay in." The actress (Janelle Hanna) who played the new nurse, among other characters, had the voice of one of the many Disney Princess characters. She was so bubbly! The combination of the three actors worked very well for this show.

At a couple of points the story the characters take you down the dark path of serious, but they whip you back into the funny before you know what's happening.

Highly recommended. Glad I saw it!

Without delay, I headed back Northbound to the Bathurst Street Theatre, got my ticket for Metro and found some shade until we were let inside.

Metro
by Creator - Linette Doherty

From the Fringe Program:
A hilarious look at public transportation in the big city. From breaking dancing cops to bored office drones, the subway is where they city comes together; our joys, loves, fears, and frustrations become shared collective experiences. With a cast of zany characters blending hard hitting street styles and haunting contemporary works, Linette Doherty creates dance that's accessible, technically innovative, and unique.

Very cool space - both in architecture and temperature.

This show was not what I expected at all. I knew there would be dancing, of course. I just figured it would be a play with dancing. You know, like a play with singing is a musical? Well this would have been a dancical...or something.

There. Were. No. Words.

It was fabulous and creative and amazing dancing to different songs that got people, including me, bopping in our seats. The dancers themselves were of different ages, different (dancer) body types and different dance style backgrounds.

The lead lady and creator, Linette Doherty, trained with two dancers who, in my mind, are tap Gods - Savion Glover and Gregory Hines. At one point in the show she also wore sneakers with tap shoe bottoms - how cool is that?! I haven't tapped since I was a kid, but I kinda wanna try it again.

One of the male dancers, Gary Lucich, was amazing in looks and dance technique. He was very ~~yummy~~ enjoyable to watch.

The body definition, especially in the legs, of both the men and the women on stage would put many of us to shame. However, they were all beautiful with fluid motions and extreme flexibility and I was happy to enjoy the visual artistry.

What got me really excited about this show was the fact that it was taking place in the subway. When you begin writing your own script about the subway, what's in your head doesn't always work on the stage. Once I saw the simple set of subway seating up there on stage, I knew my script vision could become reality.

Whether you're a dance fan or not, go and see this show!

Experiencing Fringe - July 3, 2010

2010-07-04T02:04:00.005-04:00

Due to the fact I actually have a life - shocking, I know - today's adventure into theatre included only one show - 11:00pm performance of Me, My Stuff and I @ George Ignatieff Theatre.

If you're keeping track, this is the fourth play I've seen at the festival thus far and this now marks the fourth new space I've had the pleasure of being in. All the space's I've been in have been different, but they all have one thing in common - they are all excellent spaces with such possibility. The George Ignatieff Theatre space even has little tables attached to each chair. I assume this is because the space is also used by the university for lectures.

Me, My Stuff and I: A Multimedia Comedy
by Barry Smith

From the Fringe Program:
From the creator of "Jesus in Montana" (5 stars - EYE and NOW) and "American Squatter" (4 stars - EYE and NOW) comes a disturbingly funny multimedia comedy about...stuff. Lots of stuff. Writer/performer Barry Smith began documenting every detail of his existence from an early age. His young passion morphed into a bizarre obsession. And now he wonders, "Who saves this stuff?"

His shit is FUNNY! I laughed so hard I cried...almost the entire time. I was literally wiping away tears. I can't remember the last time I laughed this much during a show.

As you walk into the theatre to find your seat, you notice the very minimal amount on the stage: a stool with a bottle of water beside a microphone in a stand, downstage is a Mac laptop and a projector and upstage is a large screen on which is projected the title of the show you are about to see with numerous graphics of photos and stamps and bits of this and that - stuff.

The entire show is based on this performer's life and is told in such a way that you are doubled over laughing and cry and trying to catch your breath. There are no jump cuts from his live on stage performance to the projected media on the screen - it's all very smooth in its transition with the help of his voice, his storytelling and good lighting operation. The projection screen really becomes like a second performer on stage.

One sentence: Stand up comedy plus wonderfully creative Power Point style presentation equals Me, My Stuff and I.

One word: Hilarious!

If you are reading this you must go and see this show.

Experiencing Fringe - July 2, 2010

2010-07-03T02:22:00.009-04:00

For my second day of Fringing I had planned to see three shows:
> a 1:15pm of Tightrope @ Theatre Pass Muraille Mainspace
> a 7pm of The Making Of @ Theatre Passe Muraille Mainspace
> an 11pm of Wedding Night In Canada @ St. Vladimir's Theatre.

To say the least my body had other plans and my viewing of Tightrope has been shuffled to Monday night.

So for this July 2 of Fringe I saw The Making Of (yes, "Making" not "Marking" as it says in the program) and Wedding Night In Canada.

The Making Of
by The Ensemble
Creator & Director: Michael Murphy

From the Fringe program:
A mokumentary that follows an inept film crew making a misguided documentary about the "untold plight of Toronto's poor" and who completely miss the point.

From the people who watched "Waiting for Guffman" and "The Office" - and thought they were both pretty funny - comes a comedy that'll make you wish you never found out what goes on behind the scenes.

First time in this space and what a great space it is. The A/C was on full blast, which would have been more effective had it been a really hot day out. However, I am not complaining...it was nice. [sigh]

The show was a combination of live on stage acting and prerecorded film that was projected onto a large screen upstage. It was a good combo of both, albeit a bit jumpy at some points - moving your focus from live actors to the screen and then back again. However, the jumpiness wasn't too noticeable because you were laughing almost all the time.

Laughs happened from the beginning to the end. Insane, illogical, stupid and silly lines came out of the "Rick" character's mouth and were then matched with witty and sometimes goofy remarks from the remaining cast of misfits.

Remarkably, some of Toronto's city councilors allowed themselves to be interviewed for portions of the prerecorded parts. It came across as a less gangster version of Ali G, but with all the dumb.

If you're looking for a laugh "Didju" know this is definitely the show for you!

After the show, I found my way to St. Vlad's for my next Fringing adventure - Wedding Night In Canada. Since it was at least an hour and a half before tickets went on sale I sauntered over to Momo's (on Harbord, West of Spadina) for some falafal and other food greatness. I haven't been to Momo's in years, but the food is still just as great and the beautiful night and patio provided for great people watching.

Wedding Night In Canada
by Francine Dick

From the Fringe Program:
Heddy has been planning the perfect wedding for more than two years. The Toronto Maple Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup in over a lifetime. When the dreams of a bride face off against the Leafs, a game away from glory, who will emerge victorious? And will the groom get to watch at least some of the game?

I saw this play once already this year in the form of a reading at Alumnae Theatre (Toronto) and loved the script. The women who played "Heddy" at the reading had a great voice to listen to and played the character with wonderful vocal tones and expressive body language. I also know the actor who read for the "Karim" part. Now a whole new set of actors, and costumes too!

Another new space; this one cozy with a high set stage. First show thus far with pre-show music. Only three songs on repeat, but very appropriate ones.

Heddy's wedding dress was beautiful and can actually be purchased from the designer, after Fringe is over obviously!

I found the chemistry between Karim (the best man) and Heddy was better than that between Nick (the groom) and Heddy. I guess you could say that it played well in showing how upset Heddy was with her new husband, but not really.

Karim was "over gay." Yes, his character is gay, but this was overkill. It did, however, add to the comedy of it all with his hand gestures, limp wrist action and "oh girl" body language. He reminded me a bit too much of Bobby Lee from MadTV.

The actress playing Heddy was enjoyable and had good line delivery. However, I found her, as Heddy, to be too whiny.

Nick had good delivery and he was funny, but I wasn't excited about him.

Awesome stuff:
- Nick in the hockey jersey over his wedding outfit.
- Curtain call with Heddy and Nick still making out/making up and Karim all ready to take a bow.

I guess I am bias because I enjoyed the actors who did the reading more than the Fringe staged production. The same script with different actors and you get a completely different show.

Great laughs and poignant with cute moments. Highly recommended.

Experiencing Fringe - July 1, 2010

2010-07-02T01:44:00.003-04:00

False start to Fringing. Seems the body needs this thing called "sleep." Who'da thunk it? Eternal Friendship For A Spotless Smile will have to wait until later this weekend or next week.

My first adventure into Fringe 2010 - a 10:30pm showing of Breadwinner @ the Annex Theatre.

Breadwinner
a musical by Megan Benjafield

From the Fringe Program:
Four old university friends meet up every year for their annual girls' weekend and discuss the unique struggles that they all encounter as the main breadwinners in their family. Sex in the City ten years later without Manhattan and designer clothes.

"If we could be whatever we wanted to be, why did we end up here?"

An excellent way for me to kick off Fringe 2010! Great line (one of many) from the show: "Metro-sexual urban Dad."

This was my first visit to this space and what a small, but great space it is. My first impression of its two chandeliers and double staircase is that it would be perfect for a production of The Sound of Music. Perfect for the "So Long, Farewell" number or the entrance of the children for their first meeting with Maria.

The cast: four women.
The setting: a back patio of a house or getaway location somewhere in Ontario.

Interesting story lines with good laughs. The "Harold" actress reminded me a lot of Camryn Manheim. The "Pat" actress was a bit of a speed talker when it came to her lines. Also, the actors need to increase their pauses for applause and laughter - things get missed in dialogue because their words are eaten by the noise.

I enjoyed the play and laughed; that's important in my books. I recommend seeing this one; especially all you women!

The Sparks of Life

2010-07-02T00:56:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I posted on my blog and much has happened.

On June 29, I reached my one year anniversary at my "new" job. My boss says I'm a "lifer" now and that's just fine with me.

I am in the beginning processes of stage managing my third production at The Village Playhouse. The play is Noel Coward's "Present Laughter." First rehearsal is this coming Tuesday July 6 and we go up on Friday Sept 17. It's a long show with 10 cast members so I foresee lack of sleep, but happy "Theatre Sara" over the next couple months. Time will move so quickly that before I know it we'll be half way through the run and I'll be wondering where the time has gone.

Also, as part of my "See More Stuff" motto for 2010, I am Fringing -- watching shows at the Toronto Fringe Festival. The festival started yesterday (June 30) and runs until Sunday July 11. I figured with work and stage managing at The Village I would leave the Fringe volunteering for this year and just enjoy the shows I can. I am going to try and post little reviews of each show I see. Why? Because I can. It'll be fun and writing more can't hurt.

Speaking of writing, I am in the midst of writing my first official script with my theatre friend, Tina. It's for the stage and it's a short. I don't want to give too much away, but we met last weekend at my place for lunch and got a really good handle on the characters and the story line. Excitement! We want to try and have it ready for submission in September. Fingers crossed.

Lastly, I am giving the BIG on Bloor Street Festival (The New Bloor Festival is its new name) another shot this year. If you remember from last year, it rained...a lot. I swore I would only do it again if they promised no rain. No such promise has been made and the cost of renting a table went up; so I guess I am just crazy and a glutton for possible punishment. Let's hope for good weather. The date of this year's festival is Saturday July 24 and takes place on Bloor Street West, between Dufferin and Lansdowne. Come and check out my table!

In preparation for the festival, I made my first visit to Bizzy B's Stamp and Scrapbook store in Bloor West Village. They have crop space that is free to use between 6pm and 10pm on Tues, Thurs and Friday - depending on classes being held and space available. You can bring your own materials (or buy from them) and they let you use their tools and equipment. It was very awesome and very inspiring. I am definitely going back again, soon!

There's Hope

2010-01-31T22:21:00.005-05:00

"I've done so much for you." Fran said. She looked at him with regret. "I give more and more each time we're together. I give more to you than I give to myself. I'm exhausted."

At that moment the bus pulled up to the curb. Fran stood and took a step forward. She stopped and turned around to face Craig.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked.

Craig sighed and looked deep into Fran's eyes.

"Not today. I've already taken enough from you today." Craig said.

With tears in her eyes Fran turned her back on Craig and boarded the bus. As she took her seat near the front, Fran glanced out the window and saw Craig fiddling with a button on his shirt. That was the shirt Fran gave Craig for their two month anniversary. That button was the one she had sewn back on just that morning.

As the bus began to pull away from the curb, Craig looked up and caught Fran's gaze. She smiled. He waved. There was still hope.

Learning Life

2010-01-24T20:16:00.005-05:00

Life is strange. Life is wonderful. Life is one door closing while another one opens. Life is saying hello and waving goodbye in the exact same moment. Life can be messy. It can also be absolutely wonderful, all encompassing, experiences abounding, full of joy and overloaded with emotion.

You meet the most exquisite and most wonderful people who open your heart and open your mind to more possibilities than you ever knew existed. You also meet the strangest and most darkened souls to roam the earth who teach you more about life than you could ever learn on your own.

Experiences in life fulfill all and any expectations you had of how glorious, how frustrating and how extremely beautiful life can really be.

Your heart fills to the point of bursting with such emotion that for a brief moment you are sure you will die -- from both happiness and sadness on an even keel.

You bond with people; some so intensely that not being around them produces an ache inside that no doctor could ever find a cure for. The ache may dull, but it never fully subsides. And, to be sure you are still as human as ever, you find more people to bond with and develop more aches to tend to.

The body you've been given is a masterpiece. It's a work of art. Completely original. It's beautiful, even if you think it's ugly. It's a machine of wondrous capabilities. If treated right, it will provide you with many years of pleasure.

Your ability to nurture and care for another is outstanding. As a woman, the fact that you've been given the magnificent opportunity to produce another human and feed that human is a miracle of phenomenal proportions. You are remarkable.

You are fascinating. You are amazing. You are one of many, but a special one. From the beginning until the end, you are learning about life from as many sources as you can. You will make mistakes. You will also win. You will surprise yourself at the risks you take and the ones you don't. You will find comfort in the simple things.

You will love, even if you are not loved in return. Your heart will break with one and be mended by another. You will always seek for those connections.

The most important thing to remember is to just live. Experience everything you can. Be who you want to be, not who someone else thinks you should be. Love with all your heart. Take chances, be brave and you will see how rewarding life can really be.

New Job Observations

2009-07-18T20:46:00.003-04:00

Yes! That is correct! I FINALLY have a job!

It's been three amazing weeks in my new position and I am so very happy. I work in the office, as an Executive Assistant, at a textile company. I am creative with package design. I am organized with a multitude of projects. I am having fun! I am encouraged and respected and have quickly become part of the "family." This is something I missed being unemployed for so long.

This past Friday I deposited my first official pay cheque in a year (less three weeks) and it was fabulous. Suddenly, everything opened up for me again and light was let into my mind. The fog of unemployment is lifting and I am finally re-entering the world again.

As mentioned, I work in the office of this textile company, but there is a whole factory and warehouse part to this company as well. I go down there when I need to talk to the Warehouse Manager or check on something for a project I am working on.

In my ventures down to this interesting part of the company I have made some amazing observations:

"Break Time" is a real thing, not just fiction!
Everyday the bell goes at 10:15am and 3:15pm for a 15 minutes break. It's amazing to me because I have never worked any place where this is a regimented thing. It's a sight to see, indeed, because when you are down in the warehouse and the break bell goes all work stops. The workers scurry out from their respective corners of the warehouse and all make their way to the break room or outside for a smoke break (at lunch, outside to the food truck). At this point the warehouse is eerily quiet. If you stroll around, you can find some of the ladies sitting in groups around their machines. The guys sitting on boxes or leaning against the wall near the break room area. My first thought was "siesta" because it truly is. Then 15 minutes later, the bell goes and the warehouse is alive and breathing once again!

Time to go home!
Similar to break and lunch time, the end of the day is also accompanied by the bell. Everyday at 5pm the bell tolls for them, letting them know the day is over and they can depart...and they do...like fleeing a burning house! I have yet to see it with my own eyes, but from my office above I can hear the end-of-the-day sounds. Warehouse door comes rattling down. The beeping on the forklifts is silenced. The hum of voices gathers in the time clock hallway and then moves outside to where shoes disturb gravel and car motors "vroom" to life. Soon all is silent again.

These things have become a comfort to me. Knowing that they are part of my day now makes me feel happy, welcome and part of something again.

The new chapter in my life has begun and so far I am really enjoying the story!

BIG Update

2009-07-18T20:33:00.004-04:00

Greetings!

So that BIG on Bloor festival has come and gone. It was an adventure to say the least. The day, due to rainy weather and nothing but personal-sized umbrellas, was ridiculously horrid! Only two of us, from our group of six, actually took part. We got there at 10am for set-up. The festival started at 1pm. Our table's first, and only, sale happened around 5:15pm - I sold three magnets. We left at 6pm.

I did hand out some business cards and told people I would be posting my creations online soon...something I still need to do. I think Etsy.com will be my place of choice for now. I have a store there already, just need to add product to it.

I was asked if I would participate again. My answer, "If they can guarantee no rain....or if we can find a tent for weather related protection!"

All in all, it was an adventure...and experience...and definitely something to laugh about later. LOL!

Busy Bee

2009-06-17T17:38:00.005-04:00

Lately I have been buzzing around dropping in on this flower and that flower.

I am still unemployed or lady of leisure with a little bit of cabin fever, whatever title you want to apply to it! I have had some luck shine upon me in terms of interviews. I thought my job prospects looked great in February when I interviewed twice for a dream job. Alas, someone who could walk, talk, chew gum and sing a song at the same time got the job.

LOL! No, not really.

I moved on from that adventure with better interview experience under my belt and sense of relief and joy that my resumes were in fact being received by people and not being eaten by some cyberspace monster.

Since the end of May I have been granted interviews with four more companies. Some of these interviews have come and gone and some are still in my immediate future. Some of them are second interviews for the same position, holding promise. Some of the positions have been filled.

One of these four positions is for another dream job. I am not getting my hopes up for fear of jumping off the cliff of emotion if I don't get the job. I am letting the Universe work it's powerful magic in securing me a space in this new chapter of my life while I wow them in the interviews and make sure they understand how enthusiastic I am about working for them.

Also keeping me busy right now is preparation for the BIG on Bloor street festival being held here in Toronto this coming Saturday, June 20th, 2009 from 1-9pm on the 2.5km stretch of Bloor Street from Christie to Lansdowne. It's the festival's second year and an opportunity I could not turn down. A few friends and I have joined forces and are known as The Goddess Collective. We are located in section 'R' of the festival, between Russett and Pauline, one block West of Dufferin.

We all hope for good weather!

Quote Collector

2009-05-30T02:57:00.002-04:00

I am a collector of quotes. They can be from what I've read, what I've overheard or what I've seen.

As part of a "stuff" cleanse in my life I am currently (slowly) going through all my VHS tapes of things I've taped off TV over the course of the last countless number of years. I have many of these VHS tapes.

One of my tapes contained an episode of NCIS. In this episode, Anthony DiNozzo, the character played by Michael Weatherly, was more thoughtful and a little less shallow than usual.

"If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got."

I like it. I gives me thought.

Opportunities - When It Rains It Pours!

2009-05-30T00:54:00.006-04:00

This last week has been a busy one of opportunities.

I am currently unemployed and am searching for my next opportunity to shine. Sometimes the quality job postings are few and far between and I must tuck my pride away and apply for "other" jobs that are out there.

This past week however has abounded with positive prospects of employment and opportunities. I am happier this week. Not that I was not happy last week or the week before that, but this week the feelings bubbled a little closer to the surface. Maybe it's true that if you send out positive thoughts, positive things will come back to you. "Smile and the world smiles with you."

I have been sending out job applications, pretty much, each day. When my positive thoughts well gets a little dry, my energy for these applications becomes less. The month of May has been pretty good to me and I've got many files containing cover letters and job specific "summary of strengths" to show for it.

On Wednesday, May 27th, I received a phone call for an interview from one of the applications I emailed on May 10th. That's two weeks. To me that's promising. Why? Due to the fact that I know I am being heard and that my resume is making into someone's, anyone's, hands! This is a positive thing. The interview was set for Friday, May 29th.

On that same Wednesday afternoon I read my horoscope in the newspaper:
"Everyone knows how dependable you are, but don't let anyone take advantage of you. Job prospects look good."

"Job prospects look good." I like the sounds of that, especially on the same day I get a call about an interview.

The next day, with my spirit invigorated and my positive feelings bubbling away, I sent out more applications and did some question prep for my interview on Friday. What does my horoscope say today?
"You're so close to succeeding, but the one thing holding you back is your inability to ask for help. Maybe it's time to swallow your pride?"

Close to succeeding sounds pretty great to me!

Friday morning arrives. My interview was set for early afternoon. Freshly showered and interview outfit set out on the bed, I sat at my desk to ensure all my references and questions were in order. I noticed that a new voice mail had arrived on my cell phone. I checked, but it was just a hangup. Back to my prep work. After a few minutes another call came in and I let it go to voice mail. A message was left and I checked. It was one of my applications from Thursday calling to set up an interview for Monday! Wow, only one day from email to phone call!

So now with Friday's interview done and that prospect looking promising, I am in prep for Monday's interview. Positive energies are flowing and I don't want to waste them! Friday's horoscope reads:
"You're going to have a great day at work. But make sure that doesn't compromise your sensitivity or compassion towards others."

"...a great day at work." Could this be foreshadowing for great things to come?

To top all this goodness off, a few friends and I are planning to showcase out creative talents at the "Big On Bloor" street festival on June 20th. I will keep you posted about developments on this.

Oh, the excitement of it all!!

Me, Myself & I

2009-03-05T03:20:00.005-05:00

I realize that I see myself as a completely different me. Actually there are two completely different mes, but they're not so different.

There's completely different me one: She's always been around. She's skinny, she fits into everything she tries on and she's the centre of attention. She has a great job only because she has all of my skills, talent and experience. Yet, people love her. Like really love her. Like popularity love her. She can do anything she wants. She walks into a room and she commands the attention of everyone there. She's skinny. She's beautiful. She's popular.

Completely different me two has only recently appeared. She looks like I look now. She's overweight, but she's happy. She wears slightly different clothing; not so baggy, not so I'm trying to hide myself. When she walks into a room she commands the attention of everyone there. She's popular. She has a great job because she has my talent, my experience and my skill. She can do anything she wants and she does. She'll walk into the clothing store and be able to command, politely, the attention of the clerk. Set up a dressing room, take anything off the rack and be able to try it on and it seems to fit. She walk into a hair salon to get her eyebrows done. She is cheerful and everyone smiles at her and no one gives her that second glance.

I'd like this person, #2, to be me now and she is, but she isn't. Let's call her a work in progress.

Once Again

2009-01-21T01:11:00.002-05:00

I have given this blog much thought lately. I was very close to deleting it. I always have numerous ideas for what I am going to write here, but then never do write anything.

I have friends who blog and are quite successful at it. Their posts aren't always long, in-depth studies of the human condition. Sometime there are only one or two line...and that gets their point across just fine.

So, I will given it another try and see where it leads me.

This is me and all I can do is give it my best shot. BANG!

A restart

2008-09-22T04:14:00.002-04:00

I find it quite humourous that my last blog entry, from April 2007, was aptly titled 'Nothing Lasts Forever" and since that entry I have not written one single thing here.

Why? I am not quite sure.

Maybe for the plain and simple reason that I just haven't. Not that I forgot. Not that I got too busy. Not that I didn't want to (cause believe me, I wanted to). I just didn't.

I started this blog with one rule to myself: All entry titles must be titles of songs. Why? Well, for creativity, of course! At the beginning it seemed like such a great idea. Yay me for thinking in such a creative way. But no one noticed. And why would they? Why should they?

So, I restart this blog with one rule to myself: Write blog entries more often!

I think I like this rule better.

Until next time...may you have smiles and sunshine!

Nothing Lasts Forever

2007-04-01T18:41:00.000-04:00

The production of "Painting Churches" came to the end of its run last night with the closing show. It was another fabulous success coming out of The Village Playhouse!

I am kinda sad today though. I got this way after the last production as well. It's like losing a family you have become so close to. Now, the family you saw every week - you won't see at all. The after-production-I-have-no-show-to-work-at-now funk I am in will pass, I know this.

The next show, Don't Dress For Dinner, for which I designed the poster, has it's opening night on Friday, April 27th. I have decided to take a break from the backstage crazy-mad-fun and have signed on to work Front-of-House each Friday and Saturday of this upcoming run. Now I get to schmooze with patrons and enjoy another aspect of theatre life.

I am looking forward to it, but have a feeling I may go through backstage withdrawal sooner than I think!

Time After Time

2007-03-25T19:43:00.000-04:00

Well hey there! It's been over a year since I posted here...and...I have no excuse!

Time sure does fly. I am now well into my 30th year and all is going well. I have gotten over the fact that I turned 30. It's just a number...

"It's not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years."
- Abraham Lincoln

I have made a decision...a promise...a pact with myself that this year will be an awesome year. It will be MY year. It will be the first year of the rest of my life...as cheesy as that sounds. *smiles*

This will be the year that I take back my life...that I take back myself...and that I learn to live.

I will take risks. I will say no without guilt. I will tell people the full and honest truth...about whatever! I will try before "I can't." I will give and take. I will learn and educate. I will release all the negative and soak in all the positive. I will find whoever it is I am looking for - or at least begin the search. I will strive to become healthier and not take my life for granted. I will cry. I will laugh. I will love and be loved. I will see clearer that which was once blurred. I will search and find. I will stake my claim. I will strive for my goals and reach them - then set new ones.

This year I will continue the journey to a better me...a stronger me...a me that I can call my own! I will be the person I want to be - and be her for no one but myself.

Groove Thang

2006-03-08T00:32:00.000-05:00

On Monday I got on the bus to go to work and found that I was all by myself. I was listening to music on my mp3 player and, while still in the station, I had the urge to get up and dance down the isle of the bus. I waited too long (aka: didn't have the guts) and more people joined me on the bus.

Just think, I had the chance to make a fool of myself. Sure, someone might have seen me, but then they would have had a story to tell that day of the crazy girl they saw dancing on the bus.

Maybe one day I will be brave enough to take silly risks...

I'm Too Sexy

2006-03-01T22:51:00.000-05:00

I just watched the annual pre-Oscars Barbara Walters Special on ABC. I watched it specifically for Patrick Dempsey who I have nicknamed "my husband". However, I think I may want a divorce...

In his interview with Barbara, they spoke of his first sexual experience. He said it was when he was 17 years old and, I may be paraphrasing here, "sex is the gateway to adulthood".

WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!

He also said that things look different and there are lights that you didn't see before (again, I may be paraphrasing). That I can believe, but "the gateway to adulthood"? Somebody get me a lawyer, I need a divorce from my fake husband!

The First

2006-02-26T00:39:00.000-05:00

The first of many, I am sure. I have wanted to set up this blog space for quite a while now. Each day, coming home from work, I think of something to write...if only I had created a blog. With good intentions I tell myself I will set one up, but never do. Well I am happy to announce...the wait is over!