I realize that I see myself as a completely different me. Actually there are two completely different mes, but they're not so different.
There's completely different me one: She's always been around. She's skinny, she fits into everything she tries on and she's the centre of attention. She has a great job only because she has all of my skills, talent and experience. Yet, people love her. Like really love her. Like popularity love her. She can do anything she wants. She walks into a room and she commands the attention of everyone there. She's skinny. She's beautiful. She's popular.
Completely different me two has only recently appeared. She looks like I look now. She's overweight, but she's happy. She wears slightly different clothing; not so baggy, not so I'm trying to hide myself. When she walks into a room she commands the attention of everyone there. She's popular. She has a great job because she has my talent, my experience and my skill. She can do anything she wants and she does. She'll walk into the clothing store and be able to command, politely, the attention of the clerk. Set up a dressing room, take anything off the rack and be able to try it on and it seems to fit. She walk into a hair salon to get her eyebrows done. She is cheerful and everyone smiles at her and no one gives her that second glance.
I'd like this person, #2, to be me now and she is, but she isn't. Let's call her a work in progress.